Before
by Kallamae
Summary: A small look into some of Theron's thoughts before Umbara.


Spoilers ahead for Crisis on Umbara, please if you've been living under a rock and don't know what happens, go play it first!

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Theron found himself tapping along to the almost rhythmic click of Ennali reading (or glancing over, he suspected) datapads and tossing them onto the desk as she finished. After two more he knew she'd stretch, look at another, and then pour herself a strong drink before tackling the rest of the stack. A twinge of guilt brought a frown to his lips.

They had more-or-less dumped the weight of the Alliance on her. She'd more than risen to the challenge. As he'd known she could. Still, he knew it wasn't something she would have chosen on her own. Nothing since answering his (too late) call from Ziost had really been her choice. She'd been forced into reacting, doing what needed to be done, what no one else _could_ do.

His eyes fluttered closed for a moment as he took a quiet, calming breath. It was time, past time, he stepped up to match that example. There was something now that only he could do. Theron couldn't continue letting her be the only one to jump into danger.

And she had leapt into plenty, too many times. She always made it through though. He needed to remind himself just how much she could handle.

She groaned and threw the last datapad onto the stack. Theron shut down the files he'd been looking over and moved to her side. They didn't get much real downtime together even when things were going well. Now, it felt like an oppressive gloom had settled over them.

He tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear. "I love you."

"I know," Ennali answered airily. When Theron didn't chuckle, her grin faded. "What brought this on?"

"Nothing," he answered quickly. He shook his head. "Just worried," he amended.

"I can't think of a safer place then this room. HK is just outside the door. Not to mention Bowdaar running his own patrols. And whoever _you_ have watching that I'm not supposed to know about." She ran her hands over his knotted shoulders. "Relax."

He caught her hand and brought it to the center of his chest. "I love you," he said again. "You have to know that."

"I do." She nodded. "I love you too." Her lips curved into the smile Theron had come to think of as his. "Now relax," she ordered. Her fingers snaked into his hair. "You're going to go gray."

At that he laughed. "It would be your fault."

She playfully pushed against him. "Nuh-uh. You can't pin that on me. I've proven too many times that I can get out of anything. You just have to start trusting me'"

She couldn't have any idea how true that was. His plan hinged on that very thing. "I know," he said, "And I do trust you to make it through whatever gets thrown at you."

"Good." She smiled again. "Stop wasting time brooding." She curled her hand into his shirt and pulled him closer.

Theron jerked awake. He couldn't keep his fears from creeping into his sleep. Ennali mumbled something against his chest. He stroked her hair and shushed her back to sleep. Quietly, he let out a breath and shifted to press a soft kiss to her head. She curled closer against him.

Most nights he ended up staying in her room. People had starting calling it _their_ room. He had to admit that had a nice ring to it. Technically, he still had his own assigned quarters not far away, but the contentment that came with waking up next to her had become too much to continue resisting.

And now, he was counting what remained of those mornings on one hand. Any happiness he'd thought he'd earned was being ripped away. No matter how much he might want to resist. The business of deception was on again. His days with the SIS might be long over, but his days as a "spy" were not.

He knew what lay ahead and what the cost of it might be, but a safer galaxy was worth it. His own happiness was nothing compared to her safety. There was a glimmer of hope he clutched at, that when it was all over, she would understand. If he had any faith that the galaxy could manage on its own and they could stay nestled in a cocoon of peace, he would choose that route in less than a heartbeat. But his own desires had to be buried beneath duty.

Ironic that he had come all the way back to the Sixth Line. _There is no contemplation; there is only duty._ A person might find some poetic justice in that. They also might think those years of Jedi training would make it all easier, but the whole Jedi thing never took. He kissed Ennali's head again. He would miss this. "Remember I love you," he whispered into her hair. He knew what he had to do. But blast it all, he would miss this.


End file.
